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Minnesota Judge Teaches Divorcing Parents an Important Lesson

By Nottage and Ward on August 22, 2012

“Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.” These may be harsh words to hear and a difficult concept to accept, but it is a truth that must be realized for divorcing parents to do right by their children. At least that is what Judge Michael Haas said in a letter/memorandum, written in 2001.

How you feel about your ex is inconsequential. How your family feels about your ex is inconsequential. If you are both parents, your children are one half of each of you. This is an important fact to remember because when you tell your child how much of a “loser” his or her other parent is, or how “stupid” they are or what a bad person they are, you are essentially telling them that half of them is bad too. To do that to a child is unacceptable and unforgivable.

What happened between you and your spouse in your marriage is not your child’s fault and your child should never be a way for you to get back at your ex for the bad things he or she did. Doing that to your children can tear them apart emotionally and can ultimately ruin the relationship they have with both parents. That is no way to raise a child to be a happy, healthy, and successful human being. By thinking more about your children than yourselves, you can make sure your children do not pay for your mistakes and that they have a fulfilling and positive childhood, with both parents.

When you have children, divorce becomes much more complicated, but that doesn’t mean your children have to suffer as a result. By putting your children’s best interests first, you can ensure that they will be able to adjust more quickly while maintaining a healthy relationship with both parents. To discuss issues regarding child custody and support, contact the experienced Chicago child custody attorneys at Nottage & Ward today for a consultation at (312) 332-2915. We can help you come to an arrangement that is best for your children and your family.