Things to Do and Not to Do on Your First Post-Divorce Valentine’s Day

By Nottage and Ward on February 7, 2013

Sometimes the blues come around unexpectedly after a divorce. But there are certain times of the year that can be more painful than others if some advance planning is not taken care of. Whatever you do, do not sit home alone feeling sorry for yourself. The following do’s and don’ts are recommendations of Tina Tessina, Ph.D., a licensed psychotherapist who has authored 11 books including Money, Sex, and Kids:

Do

• Make plans well in advance of Valentine’s Day that include having your best friends around you.
• Send personal Valentine notes/cards to all who mean the world to you.
• Be certain about what it takes to make Valentine’s Day special to you, and you will not pity yourself.
• Plan an activity like skiing or skating with friends.
• Go to a play or sporting event like a basketball game.
• Take advantage of the day to try something new that does not remind you of the past.
• Use your own energy to help others in need such as helping out at a shelter. This will give you added perspective on your own life.

Don’t

• Don’t put off plans and let the day slip up on you.
• Don’t try to tell yourself you are better off alone on Valentine’s Day.
• Don’t compare the day to Valentine’s Days in the past.
• Don’t focus on what others do on this day.

Nothing can completely remove the pain of a recent divorce, and days like Valentine’s Day only serve as negative reminders of the past unless we act to change things.

At Nottage and Ward, our Chicago divorce attorneys have focused on divorce and family law for more than 20 years. If you are contemplating divorce, we will help you litigate, negotiate, and resolve financial and custody issues. Please call (312) 332-2915 to let us guide you through the process.