Looking Forward to Celebrating Thanksgiving after Divorce

By Nottage and Ward on November 21, 2012

After divorce, it is difficult to actually feel positive about and look forward to the holidays. Thanksgiving is a reminder of how much your life has changed and, potentially, how much has been taken away from you. It can be a heart-wrenching time, but that does not mean that it cannot be a positive experience. Your Thanksgiving can be as positive or negative as you decide to make it, and remember, while certain family relationships have changed, there are others that you still have. If you can get through your first holiday after divorce, you know that you’ll be just fine.

There are a lot of obstacles in your way when trying to prepare yourself to get through Thanksgiving, and one of the most difficult to overcome (but not impossible) is nostalgia. Remembering the Thanksgivings you had with your family and the traditions you created can be heartbreaking, but focusing on what you did in the past won’t do you any good in the present. Make new traditions. You may have celebrated Thanksgiving with your spouse’s family while you were married, but this year, spend it with your parents, siblings, or even friends.

Always remember that your friends and family are there to help you. They know that the holidays will be a tough time and want to help. Don’t feel like you have to put on a happy face for their sake, but also, don’t hold in all your emotions until Thanksgiving Day and have them spill all over the dinner table. When you’re feeling down, talk to supportive friends and family. Get everything out beforehand so you can enjoy Thanksgiving.

If you have kids, figuring out who they will be spending Thanksgiving with can be difficult. To make this work, it is important to be flexible. If your ex wants them on actual Thanksgiving Day, then create your own Thanksgiving the Friday after. The important thing is being with them, not the day.

Before you start thinking about what you’re missing this holiday season, make a list of what you are thankful for. It will not only help you stay positive but it will remind you that your divorce does not define the rest of your life.

The experienced divorce lawyers in Chicago at Nottage and Ward understand how difficult the holidays can be during and after divorce, but it may be the best choice for your future happiness. If you are separated or are considering divorce in Illinois, we can help. Call us today for a consultation at (312) 332-2915.