How Friends Can Help During a Divorce

By Leslie Fineberg on July 15, 2014

As anybody who has gone through a divorce can attest, it can be a difficult and challenging time, even in so-called amicable break-ups. As a friend of a person going through a divorce, you don’t quite know what to say. You want to be there for your friend and help, but you don’t want to say anything that might make the situation worse.

So, what do you do? An article in the Huffington Post suggests that saying or doing something is better than ignoring the situation and not saying anything. Here are some suggestions of things you might say and do for a friend going through a divorce.

1. “You know I have your back.” Sometimes a friend going through a divorce just needs to know that you are on their side and you will be with them no matter what.
2. “You’re not a bad person.” A lot of blame during a divorce can be self-directed and sometimes just hearing this is enough to get a friend through the day.
3. “This sucks.” Yes, this may seem obvious and should go without saying, but sometimes a friend who is going through a divorce needs to hear that somebody else understands that.
4. “What do you need?” The divorce process can be overwhelming and sometimes the simple act of helping with a simple task, like making a grocery list for your friend, can help in immeasurable ways.
5. “Let’s work on getting you sorted out.” If a divorcee is not familiar with finances or paying bills, those can be daunting tasks. Having a guide to help with these new-found tasks can be invaluable.
6. “You are not alone.” Letting a friend know there is somebody there for them can mean a lot to the newly divorced. They may have been in a relationship for years, so just knowing that they are not in it all by themselves can be extremely helpful.

The divorce attorneys at Nottage & Ward in Chicago realize that dealing with the divorce of a friend can be awkward and uncomfortable, but lending a helping hand and saying the right things to them can work miracles during a particularly stressful time in their lives.