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How Smart Women Find Happiness after Divorce

By Nottage and Ward on March 26, 2012

Divorce affects women in different ways. While some may do very well after divorce, others find it very difficult to move beyond the emotional pain and financial hardships. The circumstances of every divorce are different, but, according to The Huffington Post, the difference between women who do well after divorce and women who get stuck is that women who do well make the decision to be happy with themselves and their situation. This isn’t easy, but it is necessary if you want to get on with your life. There are five major steps that, as a smart woman, you should take to be happy again and get on with your life:

  1. Give “woe is me” feelings a shelf life. Self-pity can be very destructive and keep you from letting go of something that is in the past. Make the conscious mental shift from victim to survivor, or even warrior, and make future decisions with that mentality.
  2. Accept your post-divorce financial situation. Come to terms with your reduced lifestyle and reprioritize your finances or commit yourself to changing your lifestyle. The smartest women do not rely on alimony or maintenance from their ex-husband, or the finding of a new man, as a long-term financial solution.
  3. Create a 10-year financial plan. Take control of your finances after divorce. Meet with a financial planner and/or accountant to organize your finances and establish goals for the next decade. Though it may be overwhelming at first, this is a greatly empowering step.
  4. Accept that you cannot change your ex. The smartest women recognize that they will never be able to change their ex-husband and accept this with maturity and grace, understanding that this is one of the unfortunate realities of divorce.
  5. Focus on yourself and your future. After divorce, put all your energy into looking at your own life, both past and present and mistakes and successes, and determine where you want to be and who you want to be from now on. Many women lose themselves during marriage, divorce is an opportunity to find and redefine yourself.

Divorce may feel like the end of the world at first, but it is an opportunity for personal growth and maturity that many never get. If you feel that divorce is the best decision for your future, the dedicated Chicago divorce lawyers at Nottage and Ward can help. Call us today for a consultation at (312) 332-2915.

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