illinois post divorce recovery - Chicago Illinois Family Law Blog
Rosaire Nottage, a founding partner of the Chicago family law firm Nottage and Ward, is committed to helping Illinois residents with a wide range of family law matters, including divorce. But it isn’t just important to offer effective legal representation to divorcing individuals, but to provide them with the support and advice they need after divorce, which is where a particular Huffington Post article comes in.
Being happy again after divorce is, unfortunately, not an instantaneous process, even if you wanted the divorce and looked forward to when you would be single and on your own again. Divorce is a big change, especially if you were married for many years, and being single takes some getting used to, but there are ways to make sure that you can encourage the process along more quickly:
Divorce affects women in different ways. While some may do very well after divorce, others find it very difficult to move beyond the emotional pain and financial hardships. The circumstances of every divorce are different, but, according to The Huffington Post, the difference between women who do well after divorce and women who get stuck is that women who do well make the decision to be happy with themselves and their situation. This isn’t easy, but it is necessary if you want to get on with your life. There are five major steps that, as a smart woman, you should take to be happy again and get on with your life:
- Give “woe is me” feelings a shelf life. Self-pity can be very destructive and keep you from letting go of something that is in the past. Make the conscious mental shift from victim to survivor, or even warrior, and make future decisions with that mentality.
- Accept your post-divorce financial situation. Come to terms with your reduced lifestyle and reprioritize your finances or commit yourself to changing your lifestyle. The smartest women do not rely on alimony or maintenance from their ex-husband, or the finding of a new man, as a long-term financial solution.
Kate Gosselin filed for divorce from then-husband and reality show co-star Jon Gosselin in June 2009 amid infidelity rumors. The reality show, which continued as “Kate Plus 8” after the divorce, ended in September 2011, according to The Huffington Post. It is not the circumstances of the divorce or the fate of the reality show that are the most telling, however.
Earlier this week, Kate Gosselin discussed her relationship with her ex-husband on “Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers.” The couple shares custody of their eight children. According to Gosselin, the couple has had a much more peaceful relationship. They each live their own lives and everything seems to be much better. She says that she believes their improved relationship is, at least in part, due to her ex’s recent employment, which has made him happier with himself. He is happier, the kids are happier after they see him, and that makes her happy.
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