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Reasons You Should Never Use to Justify Getting Back Together after Divorce

By Nottage and Ward on May 29, 2012

The time it takes to heal after a divorce can vary greatly depending on the person and the circumstances surrounding the separation. There’s no denying that divorce can have a profound effect on a person’s emotional, physical, and mental well-being; however, it is not uncommon for divorcees to eventually start dating again. In some cases, divorcees may actually return to their former spouses once the dust has settled. But is that a good decision?

According to The Huffington Post, it depends on the couple. If the ex-spouses are able to learn from their mistakes and resolve the issues that broke them up in the first place, they may have a chance at reconciliation. Unfortunately, that is the rare exception. There are plenty of reasons why getting back with an ex is simply a bad idea.

Oftentimes, ex-spouses will start seeing each other again out of boredom or disappointment with the dating scene. It’s understandable that a former relationship, even one that ended badly, may seem inviting after spending some time in the dating pool, but it is definitely a decision that requires careful consideration. Do you really want to be with this person or are you trying to rationalize a bad decision for the sake of familiarity?

The following examples represent common excuses that divorcees will tell themselves when trying to get back with their ex.

It’s best for the kids.

True, it is important that you get along with your ex for the sake of your children, but that does not mean jumping back into a romantic relationship will help. Trying to resurrect intimacy after a very definite split may only complicate an already difficult situation and remind you of all the reasons why your marriage finally ended. Do you really want to relive that heartache with your children?

You don’t want to be alone.

Loneliness is the most common excuse for getting back into a bad relationship. There is a reason (or countless reasons) why your marriage ended in divorce. It is understandable that you will feel lonely after a break-up, but returning to an unhealthy relationship will only magnify that loneliness in the long run and prevent you from moving on. This is important to remember, especially when it comes to surviving the holidays after your divorce.

It’s financially beneficial.

Marriage may have provided several financial perks, but that is not a good reason to get back together. Money should not trump your emotional and mental health. It may be tough and require some sacrifice, but you will eventually be able to make it on your own financially.

You like having a “plus one” for events.

You may not enjoy attending office parties, weddings, or other events without a date, but getting back with your ex for the sake of appearances is a poor excuse for returning to a toxic relationship. Take a chance and go stag. It will help you become stronger on your own and you may meet someone new.

If you are considering getting a divorce in Illinois, a knowledgeable Chicago divorce lawyer from Nottage and Ward can assist you throughout this difficult process. We will work closely with you to ensure that you understand your legal rights and options in order to reach the solution that works best for you. We have the experience and resources to protect your best interests and to win the best possible outcome for your situation. Please do not hesitate to contact us online or by dialing (312) 332-2915 for a consultation with an accomplished divorce lawyer.

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