Mediation

During the holidays, both parents want to spend time with their child or children. But deciding who gets the children and for which holidays can be a highly contentious. It is very possible that the divorced couple stipulated how the holidays would be handled in their child custody arrangement, but oftentimes, this isn’t the case and a divorced couple has a very difficult time agreeing on the best way to “share” their kids during the holidays. The best way to come to an agreement is to be flexible.

Being flexible is an important part of making the holidays work for your family. Children look forward to the holidays because of how they are celebrated, not what day they fall on. The two usual arrangements are:

1. Alternating holidays, where one parent gets their children on certain holidays, but not others; and
2. Designating days of celebration, where one parent gets their children on the actual holiday and the other gets them on a different day. In this arrangement, both parents get to celebrate each holiday with their children on different days.

If your ex-spouse insists on having the kids for Thanksgiving Day, ask for them the day after; if your ex-spouse insists on having them Christmas Day, take them on Christmas Eve. If your ex wants them for every single holiday and will not discuss the matter, it may be time for mediation.

Holiday traditions are a big part of a child’s life and so it is important that divorcing parents have a plan. An amicable divorced couple may have no problem coming to a holiday child custody agreement on their own, but in many cases, divorcing parents have to include a holiday arrangement in their child custody agreement. Mediation can be very helpful in determining a holiday custody arrangement. If you believe mediation could help you and your spouse come to the best arrangement for your children, contact the experienced Chicago mediation lawyers at Nottage and Ward today for a consultation at (312) 332-2915.

The traditional route of courtroom litigation is often the “default” course of action for a married couple seeking divorce; however, it is not the only option. Courtroom litigation tends to make a separating couple’s relationship worse by pitting one against the other while each try to persuade the judge to rule in his or her favor. The ultimate decision is made by a judge, based on what he or she thinks is best for the divorcing couple and their family. In the end, the couple does not make decisions about their own family and their relationship is often worse off for it.

Not all divorcing couples separate on civil terms, but for those that make the decision together, there is an alternative to the inherent animosity of a court battle. Mediation is a viable alternative to litigation for a couple that still maintains a civil relationship and wants to make their own decisions about what is best for themselves and, if they have any, their children. In Illinois, custody mediation is mandatory prior to forging into full-blown custody litigation.

Mediation is basically a facilitated discussion involving a professionally trained mediator and the couple. Both spouses sit down together, in a private setting, and work towards coming to a legally binding agreement on the various aspects of a divorce settlement, such as:

• Child custody and support;
• Spousal support, or maintenance;
• Child visitation;
• Division of marital debt; and
• Division of property.

It is best, in such a situation, to consult with an experienced family law attorney to make sure both spouses have addressed and understand all issues related to their divorce.

At Nottage and Ward, our knowledgeable Chicago mediation attorneys are committed to helping our clients come to a legal agreement that is acceptable and in line with Illinois law. We regularly work with trained mediators to ensure that our clients come to an agreement that is best for them and their family. If you believe mediation is the best path for you and your spouse, or are not sure if formal litigation suits your relationship, we are available to answer all of your questions and help you make an informed decision. Call us today at (312) 332-2915.

The decision to divorce is a difficult one, and has many extensive consequences. While every situation is different, the process can become very complex and time-consuming, leaving those involved exhausted and stressed. Rather than face the strains of courtroom litigation, many couples going through an Illinois divorce opt to settle matters through mediation.

Mediation in Illinois is an option for divorcing couples to consult with a highly trained professional and discuss the situation in a reasonable manner. As discussed in a recent Huffington Post article, the mediator does not have a bias in the outcome and is there to assist a couple to determine the details of their divorce. Typically, during mediation, issues such as property division, child custody and visitation agreements, and more are decided. It is essential, then, for you to select an attorney with experience in mediation, whom you can trust since they are protecting your legal rights during the mediation process.

First, be sure you hire a “mediation-friendly” lawyer—someone who has experience in mediation and comes highly recommended. During your initial meeting with the attorney, ask them whether they have experience in mediation, or if they have only litigated divorce settlements. It is very important that the lawyer you chose have real-world experience so you can know what to expect during mediation and be sure they can provide the guidance you need. You shouldn’t be afraid to ask them specifics about their experience, though you should realize they won’t be able to provide you with every detail due to client confidentiality. It is important for you to learn whether you are comfortable around the attorney and whether you feel they fully grasp the details of your situation.

You should also make sure that you feel they will respect the decisions you make during the mediation process, even if your decisions go against what they feel is best. You likely have good reasons for your decisions, even if you intentionally settle for less in some areas, and ultimately, the decisions made during the process are yours to make. Lastly, you should be sure that although they are compassionate and knowledgeable, the mediation attorney is not overbearing and won’t push their personal views regarding the best outcome. It is important for the decisions made to meet your needs, and not theirs.

At Nottage and Ward, our Chicago mediation lawyers have practiced family law exclusively for over 20 years. To learn whether our experience fits your situation, call 312-332-2915 to schedule an appointment today.