2012 February Archive

Kate Gosselin filed for divorce from then-husband and reality show co-star Jon Gosselin in June 2009 amid infidelity rumors. The reality show, which continued as “Kate Plus 8” after the divorce, ended in September 2011, according to The Huffington Post. It is not the circumstances of the divorce or the fate of the reality show that are the most telling, however.

Earlier this week, Kate Gosselin discussed her relationship with her ex-husband on “Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers.” The couple shares custody of their eight children. According to Gosselin, the couple has had a much more peaceful relationship. They each live their own lives and everything seems to be much better. She says that she believes their improved relationship is, at least in part, due to her ex’s recent employment, which has made him happier with himself. He is happier, the kids are happier after they see him, and that makes her happy.

In the current economic climate, job security and financial stability have been major factors in the success of relationships. Unemployment and financial stress create individual unhappiness, stress, and frustration, which, depending on how each person handles it, can cause problems in the relationship. If the situation lasts for a long time, a married couple may find that they can no longer be happy together.

There are many reasons why a married couple chooses to divorce, but regardless of why, it is often the last resort for a couple who just cannot stay together anymore. If you are considering divorce in Illinois, the experienced Chicago divorce attorneys at Nottage and Ward can help you take the necessary steps to restart your life. Contact us today to learn more about your legal rights and options at (312) 332-2915.

Social networking has become part of our day-to-day lives, and although some people infrequently engage in online social networking, others religiously share their thoughts, emotions, frustrations, joys, and, not to mention, pictures for every occasion. The most popular social media site to do all this is Facebook. The problem? What happens on Facebook does not necessarily stay on Facebook. If you are currently in the divorce process or in a child custody battle, what you have on your Facebook profile may be used against you, according to an article in The Legal Intelligencer.

Though the law journal article discusses how Facebook is used in Pennsylvania family law cases, the fact is that Facebook has become a relevant factor in family law cases in courts nationwide. The decisions a court makes concerning divorce, maintenance, child support, and child custody may all be impacted by what is on a party’s Facebook profile, although, if the separating couple files for a no-fault divorce in Illinois, proving that one spouse cheated on the other using Facebook pictures and posts will have little to no impact. Child custody cases may be a different story, however.

After a couple separates, they must avoid posting status updates and/or photos on their Facebook profile, at least until after the case is over. If one spouse brags on Facebook about how he or she has been siphoning marital funds into his or her own individual account, or how he or she did not declare certain income, those statements can be used by the other spouse to secure an appropriate maintenance amount. If one spouse has multiple photos of him- or herself being drunk on Facebook, those may be used against him or her in a child custody dispute.

If it is public information that anyone can read, then it may be used against you. At Nottage and Ward, we understand how stressful and frustrating divorce and child custody issues can be, but, as experienced Chicago family law attorneys, we urge our clients to protect themselves and their interests by avoiding revealing information or posting pejorative attacks on their spouses or the system on their Facebook accounts. There are a great many factors that may impact your family law case, and we can help you prepare for each and every one. To discuss your family law matter with one of our lawyers, contact us today at (312) 332-2915.

In January, the decision to deny spousal benefits to Springfield city employees in civil unions was reversed by a unanimous vote of the Joint Labor/Management Health Care Committee. After the vote was initially denied in December, Springfield Mayor Mike Houston publicly declared his support of awarding spousal benefits to city employees in civil unions. Soon after that public announcement, the committee reversed its decision and granted benefits. Unfortunately, that reversal vote has since been thrown out by a Circuit Court Judge for violating the Open Meetings Act, according to The Windy City Times.

An Illinois Times reporter had filed suit after the Committee held a closed-door vote on extending spousal insurance benefits to civil union spouses in January. The Committee did unanimously vote to extend the benefits, but, because the Committee was a public committee, they were required to hold open meetings. Because the vote was conducted behind closed doors, a Judge ruled in favor of the reporter’s suit, which made the vote void.

This unexpected delay in granting benefits to civil union spouses of city employees may mean that benefits will not be available by the beginning of the city’s fiscal year in March. The Executive Director of The Civil Rights Agenda (TCRA), though he supports the Open Meetings Act, is disappointed that the ruling invalidates the vote which granted equal benefits to city employees in civil unions. It is hoped that the Committee will not hesitate to hold another vote so that benefits may be available in March.

If you are thinking of entering into or are currently in a civil union with your spouse, you may have many questions as to which rights are granted and which are denied. At Nottage and Ward, our experienced civil union lawyers in Illinois are committed to helping you understand your legal rights and options. Call us today at (312) 332-2915 and we will be happy to answer all of your questions and address all your concerns.

In last week’s blog post, we discussed the first four steps of coping post-divorce by using the Vendetta Technique, which was developed by celebrity weight-loss coach Valerie Orsoni. Today we present the last three steps to move on with your life, happily and confidently, after divorce:

• Step 5: The Vendetta Diet – There is strong correlation between looking good and feeling good, and vice versa. It gives you confidence that you may have lost after the divorce. Toss out all junk food, fill the fridge with fresh and natural foods, especially veggies, and establish a new exercise routine, even if it is just taking a walk with your friends every day.
• Step 6: Reward Yourself – You’ve set up goals, now create your own Vendetta Treasure Chest, a box with promise notes for rewards, like “Buy new shoes” or “Get motorcycle riding lessons,” when you reach those goals. Once the Treasure Chest is empty, you’ve reached all your goals and have achieved your Vendetta.
• Step 7: Time to Celebrate! – Throw a party for yourself with your closest friends, take a trip, or even symbolically destroy all memorabilia of your ex that you don’t want any more to celebrate achieving your goals.

The important thing to remember after a divorce is that you have the power to rebuild your life, whether it is with these steps or in a completely different way. Unfortunately, the more contentious the divorce typically means the more difficult the recovery process. If you and your spouse are headed towards divorce in Illinois, our knowledgeable Chicago divorce lawyers at Nottage and Ward can help you through the divorce process without undue stress or frustration. For a consultation, call us today at (312) 332-2915.

It has been almost one year since the civil union law went into effect in Illinois and now some lawmakers feel it is time to take the next step and authorize same-sex marriages, according to The Chicago Tribune.

Last week, three legislators filed a bill, HB5170, entitled the “Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act,” which would remove the explicit prohibition of same-sex marriages from state law and make marriage legally available to gay couples. In addition, the new measure would allow religious groups to make their own decisions concerning the types of marriages they perform. One of the bill’s sponsors is not sure whether the Legislature will give it serious consideration, but, if trends across the country are any indication, Illinois may consider same-sex marriages sooner rather than later.

Last year, New York legalized same-sex marriages, and, within the last month, the State of Washington did the same and the California ban on gay marriages was struck down by an appeals court. It is an election year, and so legislators may be less than enthusiastic about declaring their support for the bill; however, a vote on the new measure may find its way onto the Legislator’s docket before new lawmakers are seated. The civil union law was passed during the same period.

It is too early to tell how long this bill will need to simmer before a decision is made, but Illinois seems to be ready for the next step. Until then, the only legal option available is a civil union. If you are considering entering into an Illinois civil union or just have questions, the knowledgeable civil union attorneys in Chicago at Nottage and Ward can help. Call us today at (312) 332-2915 to learn more.

Getting over a divorce is a long emotional process, whether it was a mutual decision or not. Every person has their own methods of coping with divorce, and no one way is the right way, but wallowing in depression should never be one of those methods. If you have recently been divorced and are trying to find a way to be happy with yourself and your life again, the Vendetta Technique, developed by celebrity weight-loss coach Valerie Orsoni, may be the way, according to Shape magazine. In this two-part blog series, we will be outlining the essential seven steps of this technique and how they can help you move on with your life in a healthy way.

The goal of the Vendetta Technique is to drive yourself to becoming a better and healthier person, not to actually hurt your ex, but to gain control of your life and your emotions. These are the first four of the technique’s seven steps:

• Step 1: Choose Your “Enemy” – Even if you don’t consider your ex-husband or ex-wife an “enemy,” this characterization can help you solidify your resolve and push you toward your goal(s).
• Step 2: Choose Your Vendetta – What is your goal? Looking better? Being healthier? Whatever your goal or goals, once you figure them out, write them down. Statistically, people who write down their goals are more likely to achieve them.
• Step 3: Cleanup – Remove any presence of your enemy from your life. Put away pictures and remove them from your phone, Facebook, Twitter, etc.
• Step 4: Create a Fanbase – Establish a support team of only close friends and family who know about your Vendetta. Watch empowering/inspirational movies, have fun, and just spend quality time with each other.

These four steps set up your goals and your support system and are the beginning steps of rebuilding your life. Check back next week for the last three steps!

The real estate market crash made and still makes life difficult for homeowners across the country. House values have plummeted and people are left with loans that are worth more than their homes, making it nearly if not completely impossible to keep up with expensive loan payments or even to sell. According to a Yahoo! Finance article, approximately 3.5 million homeowners are behind on their mortgage payments while another 1.5 million have already begun the foreclosure process. In the next two years, it is estimated that there will be 3.6 million foreclosures.

This leaves homeowners with a couple of different options: 1) Strategically default on the loan; or 2) try to save the house. Unfortunately, the latter option rarely ends well and the homeowner ends up depleting their entire life savings before having to default anyway. Trying to sell, though an option, is very difficult. If the lender does not agree to the short-sale, the home will fall into foreclosure.

This obviously poses many financial problems for homeowners, but if the homeowners are a married couple trying to divorce, this also creates other complications. Oftentimes, in divorce, a couple will sell their marital property, split the proceeds and move on with their lives. But if they are unable to sell, they may be prevented from doing so. In addition, several other factors, such as child support and maintenance, may also be affected.

Trying to get through a divorce, while dealing with the deficit value of your home, can make establishing the terms of your divorce very frustrating and difficult. If you are a homeowner suffering from the housing market crash who also wants a divorce, speaking to an experienced divorce lawyer in Chicago at Nottage and Ward can help you understand your legal rights and options. To learn more, contact us today for a consultation at (312) 332-2915.

There are many potential factors that contribute to a divorce. The most common of these are usually infidelity, financial issues, and conflicting goals. Lying and cheating are obvious behaviors that can lead to divorce, but there are also a handful of less obvious behaviors which, if consistent, can end a marriage.

According to The Huffington Post, although there are countless reasons why a relationship ends, researchers identify five behaviors that, if repeated over time, have the power to end a marriage:

1. Nagging – Repeatedly requesting that your spouse to do something, which they ignore, can lead to annoyance, frustration, and eventually resentment.
2. Contempt – Openly disrespecting your spouse and/or committing other hurtful actions, such as name calling and putting him or her down.
3. Criticism – Repeatedly attacking or complaining about your spouse’s character or personality instead of effectively discussing what is actually bothering you in a mature fashion.
4. Stonewalling – Shutting down or withdrawing from the discussion or the relationship, whether physically, emotionally, or mentally. This can lead to resentment on both sides for long periods of time.
5. Defensiveness – Always defending yourself when your spouse makes comments or criticisms about you, instead of openly discussing those comments or criticisms. This can also include consistently disagreeing with your spouse and/or issuing a complaint about them as a rebuttal.

All of these behaviors have the potential to build years of resentment, frustration, and unhappiness if they occur repeatedly. In fact, according to a Gottman Relationship Institute study of over 1,000 married couples, when the last four of the aforementioned behaviors are present in a marriage, that marriage has a 94 percent chance of failure.

Research studies and statistics, though helpful for an overall look at relationships, do not predict the future of every relationship. Divorce is usually the result of a combination of dozens, if not hundreds, of factors and is usually the last resort. But, unfortunately, some relationships just do not work anymore. If you are considering a divorce in Illinois, the experienced divorce lawyers in Chicago at the family law firm of Nottage and Ward can help you understand your legal rights and options. Call us at (312) 332-2915 for a consultation today.