Divorce - Chicago Illinois Family Law Blog - Page 14
First Recorded Divorce in U.S. History Tells a Common Tale
According to History.com, the first recorded divorce in the American colonies was that of Anne Clarke and her husband Denis Clarke of the Massachusetts Bay Colony on January 5, 1643. The divorce was granted by the Quarter Court of Boston, MA on the grounds that Denis Clarke abandoned his wife to be with another woman. In a signed affidavit, Denis Clark admitted to having done just that. He and Anna Clarke had two children; he also had two children with the other woman. In the affidavit, he also stated his refusal to return to his original wife. As a result, the Puritan court had no choice but to grant a divorce to Anne Clarke, and punish her absent and adulterous husband.
Although divorce was treated with more severity in the past than it is now, this first recorded divorce highlights an important commonality in the reasons for divorce. The system by which the divorce was carried out in 1643 may be different than the system in 2012, but the reasons for the divorce, adultery and abandonment, are not uncommon today. There are many reasons why a couple may file for divorce in modern times, but the most frequent include:
The 6 Most Common Money Mistakes That Can Lead to Divorce
A recent article in Money Talks News cites a study which claims that nearly 25 percent of all married couples in the U.S. hide financial affairs from each other. According to The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC), financial stress is one of the leading reasons for divorce. A 2009 study also affirms that money issues are one of main predicators of divorce, following drug abuse and infidelity. In order to avoid supporting these statistics in your marriage, it is important to know what the most common financial mistakes are:
- Communicating Poorly, or Not at All. Money is one of the most important topics a married couple should discuss, especially early on in the relationship. Know everything now, no surprises later.
- No Budget. Keeping track of who spends what is necessary to ensure that overspending does not jeopardize your ability to pay your fixed monthly expenses. If there is no budget, then the possibility of falling into debt is that much greater.
Surviving the Holidays after Divorce: Getting Your Kids When You Want Them
During the holidays, both parents want to spend time with their child or children. But deciding who gets the children and for which holidays can be a highly contentious. It is very possible that the divorced couple stipulated how the holidays would be handled in their child custody arrangement, but oftentimes, this isn’t the case and a divorced couple has a very difficult time agreeing on the best way to “share” their kids during the holidays. The best way to come to an agreement is to be flexible.
Being flexible is an important part of making the holidays work for your family. Children look forward to the holidays because of how they are celebrated, not what day they fall on. The two usual arrangements are:
Surviving the Holidays after Divorce: When You Have Kids
In our previous blog post, we presented a few holiday survival tips for divorcees that face spending the holidays alone; however, there are many divorced couples who have a child or children that they would like to spend the holidays with.
As experienced child custody attorneys in Illinois, we believe the goal of both parents should be what is in the best interests of their child or children when it comes to the holidays. The winter holidays are a very exciting time for children and any new tradition or arrangement should be made with that in mind. There are various ways in which a divorced couple may arrange spending the holidays with their children while still giving them the holiday excitement they look forward to all year. Here are a couple of suggestions on how to achieve happy holidays for your children and yourselves:
Surviving the Holidays after Divorce: When You’re on Your Own
The winter holidays are a very difficult time for divorcees, especially if the divorce was very recent. With this in mind, the dedicated Illinois family law attorneys at Nottage and Ward would like to help divorcees stay positive and hopeful through the holidays with a three-part blog series that will provide holiday survival tips and ideas for new holiday traditions.
Whether a divorce was a blessing for a deeply troubled couple or not, being alone for the holidays is never easy. The holiday season is a reminder of happier times, even if they were dysfunctional, when you had someone to share those celebrations with. But this does not mean you cannot enjoy the holidays and it definitely does not mean you are not allowed to enjoy the holidays. Here are some holiday survival tips that may be able to help:
Divorces May Hurt Republican Presidential Hopeful’s Chances for White House
The 2012 presidential election has several potential candidates. One Republican presidential hopeful is Newt Gingrich. But, according to an article in The Huffington Post, his past tumultuous private life may affect his chances of being voted the Republican presidential nominee.
Recently, the 68-year-old former House Speaker addressed his past divorces and affairs in an interview with “Fox and Friends.” Currently, he is married to wife number three and has previously admitted to having had affairs. Gingrich also led the charge for the impeachment of President Clinton for his affair with Monica Lewinsky. Gingrich opened up about his regrets during the Fox interview and discussed how his past relationship decisions may compromise his presidential aspirations. Gingrich believes voters will have to “come to their own judgment” on whether he is “somebody that [they] would trust to lead the American people.”
Divorced Man Sues Wedding Photographers to Recreate Wedding after 6 Years
A wedding is a beautiful event. Years after, people fondly flip through their wedding album, revisiting the memories of that day through photos. But what if the photos didn’t capture precious moments of that special day? According to The New York Times, a man is suing the photography company he hired for his wedding for missing crucial moments during the wedding, in photos and video. The lawsuit, though already uncommon, is all the more unusual for the following reasons:
- The wedding took place in 2003;
- The couple separated in 2008 and divorced in 2010; and
- The divorced groom wants to recreate the entire wedding and have new photographs taken (by another photographer).
What Halloween Can Tell You about Your Marriage
In many marriages, it takes a long time before a spouse notices the signs that something in the relationship is off. Small, everyday signs can be shrugged off as coincidence, but when the holidays come around, the signs tend to become more obvious and difficult to ignore. According to The Huffington Post, Halloween may have the power to foretell whether a couple is heading toward divorce.
Holidays are traditionally spent together, with family, and many married couples have traditions for each of the year’s holidays. Halloween starts off the fall and winter holidays with couples decorating, taking their kids trick-or-treating, hosting a Halloween party, or even just staying home and doing nothing. Routine is not necessarily a bad thing, but if Halloween brings some unexpected changes, it may be a sign that the relationship is in trouble. These signs may include:
TriCity Family Services in Geneva, Illinois Offers Fall Divorce Workshops
TriCity Family Services (TCFS) is a private nonprofit human services agency located in Kane County that is committed to providing affordable, quality youth crisis intervention, counseling, prevention, and early intervention services that encourage effective family functioning and stable mental health. Understanding that the stress of divorce takes its toll on both children and parents, TCFS is offering two divorce programs this fall, according to TribLocal.com.
To help families cope during the difficult time of divorce, TCFS will be offering the “Bridges Divorce Adjustment” and “Exploring Parental Divorce and Children’s Adjustment” workshops. The “Bridges Divorce Adjustment” workshop is being offered on six Monday evenings from October 17 through November 28, excluding Halloween, from 5:00-6:30 p.m. This workshop is intended for children ages 7 through 11 who are currently dealing with issues related to the separation and/or divorce of their parents. Each week’s meeting will focus on a different theme, such as the different feelings the child has towards divorce. Children will be able to express themselves through fun activities in a comfortable and safe group environment and parents are even invited to attend one chosen meeting. The cost for this workshop is $50 for a single child or $75 for two or more from the same family.
U.S. Census Reports Divorce Rate Trends in Marital Events of Americans: 2009
According to The Huffington Post, U.S. Census Bureau has released a report in which it identifies regional trends in divorce rates for men and women. Based on 2009 data from the American Community Survey, the report determines that the Northeast region of the country has the lowest divorce rates, while the South has the highest.
The South, which according to the Census Bureau includes Virginia, West Virginia, District of Columbia, Delaware, Maryland, Florida, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Alabama, Kentucky, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, Texas, Tennessee and Oklahoma, has a rate of 10.2 divorces per 1,000 men and 11.1 per 1,000 women. According to a Census official, these high divorce rates are largely the result of higher marriage rates.
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