RSSMarch, 2012 - Chicago Illinois Family Law Blog Archive
Anti-Gay Adoption Bill Shot Down by Civil Rights and LGBT Activists in Springfield
The Illinois Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Unions Act grants the rights of traditionally married couples to civil union couples, including the right to adopt. This caused quite a bit of controversy when Catholic Charities refused to offer civil union adoption services to same-sex couples. Although Catholic Charities, which was publicly funded though a private religious organization, has since withdrawn from the legal battle to continue receiving state funds while reserving the right to refuse adoption services, it is not the end of the battle between religion, same-sex civil unions, and state law.
According to ChicagoPhoenix.com, a bill that would have amended the Civil Union Act to allow religion-based child welfare organizations to refuse adoption services to civil union couples was killed in Springfield by civil rights activist groups such as the Illinois ACLU and LGBT groups such as The Civil Rights Agenda (TCRA). The bill, which was introduced in October, would have ultimately allowed religious adoption institutions to discriminate against lesbian and gay civil union couples. This bill is only one of several similar bills introduced since last year.
The Real Impact of Marriage and Divorce on Kids
According to Psychology Today, a popular blogger and best-selling author recently declared that divorce is selfish and immature, almost always bad for kids, a sign of mental illness, and something done by “dumb people” more so than well-educated people. These are very strong statements, but that doesn’t mean they are correct. Based on the aforementioned points, it can be concluded that a married couple, even an unhappily married couple, should stay together “for the kids.” This brings up an important question, however: Does divorce cause more damage to children than an unhappy marriage?
Divorce is difficult on everyone involved, including children, and children from divorced parents tend to experience more behavioral and/or school-related problems, but does that mean that parents should stay together even though they are unhappy? The short answer is no. Factors that create issues for kids during/after a divorce can also exist during a marriage. If there is a high level of conflict between parents, it will affect their children.
How Smart Women Find Happiness after Divorce
Divorce affects women in different ways. While some may do very well after divorce, others find it very difficult to move beyond the emotional pain and financial hardships. The circumstances of every divorce are different, but, according to The Huffington Post, the difference between women who do well after divorce and women who get stuck is that women who do well make the decision to be happy with themselves and their situation. This isn’t easy, but it is necessary if you want to get on with your life. There are five major steps that, as a smart woman, you should take to be happy again and get on with your life:
- Give “woe is me” feelings a shelf life. Self-pity can be very destructive and keep you from letting go of something that is in the past. Make the conscious mental shift from victim to survivor, or even warrior, and make future decisions with that mentality.
- Accept your post-divorce financial situation. Come to terms with your reduced lifestyle and reprioritize your finances or commit yourself to changing your lifestyle. The smartest women do not rely on alimony or maintenance from their ex-husband, or the finding of a new man, as a long-term financial solution.
How a Friendly Divorce Gets You the Best Settlement
There are always stories of heated courtroom battles between divorcing couples, each with their own aggressive attorney fighting for what their client wants. In such cases, the best settlement for both parties is not typically the goal. The goal is to take away something the other wants. This not only makes the divorce drag on and incurs hefty legal fees on both sides, but, by the end of it, both spouses will likely still be unhappy with the outcome. When a divorce is amicable, it can be much easier and quicker to come to a settlement that is agreeable to both parties and less likely to give rise to future problems. This means that, for a divorcing couple on bad terms with one another, it may be worth the extra effort, as difficult as it may be, to work together.
According to PsychologyToday.com, the following eight guidelines can help you and your spouse amicably work towards an ideal settlement:
Resolving Tax Matters during Divorce Essential to Avoiding Problems after Divorce
Financial issues are common in many marriages and, in some, may even be severe enough to lead to divorce. But the financial problems may not stop there. Divorced couples often experience financial issues after divorce due to unforeseen tax implications which were not addressed in the terms of the divorce. This can not only result in ongoing animosity between the couple but also potentially cause serious tax issues. No one wants the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) breathing down their necks, so it is important to address the following tax matters in your divorce:
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- Deducting Legal Fees – Typically, you cannot deduct legal fees on your tax return; however, if the fees are related to the allocation or protection of income-producing assets, then the fees can be deductable. Before you file your tax return, know what you can deduct and what you can’t.
- Filing Status and Exemptions – A very important issue to resolve during divorce settlement negotiations is who will be claiming the children, or who will claim which child. In addition, matters related to the “head-of-household” filing status and exemptions must also be resolved.
Federal Same-Sex Marriage Ban Complicates Finances, Puts Spotlight on Inequalities
Many of the legal and financial ramifications of traditional marriage are automatic upon marriage. Even without a will, if one spouse dies, the other spouse is granted certain rights in the estate. Once married, each spouse has ownership rights to marital property. The parties also get all applicable health and employment benefits, can file joint state and joint federal tax returns, and are afforded many other financial and legal rights without taking any overt actions. Gay couples are not so lucky, unfortunately, and the financial issues that same-sex partners must face are a constant reminder that marriage equality is still far away, though it gets closer every year.
Many of the obstacles in the way of marriage equality for same-sex couples have been demolished by states through civil union and domestic partnership laws and even legalization of gay marriage. These are important steps toward the final goal of bringing change to the federal government and its Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) With the ongoing financial hassles and denial of rights plaguing gay couples, the movement for change on the federal level is growing stronger.
Newt Gingrich Tries to Appease Public Concerns about Unsavory Marital Past
Since he began his campaign for the Republican Presidential Nominee seat, Newt Gingrich has faced much criticism for his marital past, but this criticism is not solely because he has been married and divorced multiple times and had affairs during those marriages. It is because he presents himself to be of strong moral character, when, in fact, his actions hint at something different. How can a man convince the American people of the importance of family values and the sanctity of marriage when his own values, based on his own actions, appear to be inconsistent with his public proclamations?
As the race continues, Gingrich is reminding voters that he has sought God’s forgiveness for the sins he has committed in his life, according the The Huffington Post. Whether or not voters believe he has wholeheartedly sought redemption for the wrongs he committed is uncertain. Gingrich’s second ex-wife recently went public with details of his actions during their marriage, including having an affair with the woman who is now his current wife, seeking an open marriage arrangement to continue the affair (which he continued anyway), and divorcing her when she became ill.
Illinois May Soon Offer Family Leave for Civil Union Spouses
One of the most difficult obstacles for civil union spouses to overcome in being awarded certain rights in Illinois is the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as the union between one man and one woman. The federal government affords certain rights and benefits under that definition to married couples, which are not afforded to same-sex civil union couples. According to WJBC, Illinois lawmakers are trying to work around this obstacle on the state level.
The Illinois civil union law states that civil union spouses are entitled to the same rights and benefits as those that are married, and so if the civil union law is to remain, certain measures should be taken. Illinois legislators are currently considering expanding certain medical benefits given to married couples to include same-sex civil union couples, more specifically, the benefit of medical leave. The proposed Family Medical Leave Act (HB 4724) would give employees 12 weeks of unpaid leave to tend to a child or sick partner. Though the proposed medical leave would only cover businesses with at least 50 employees, it is nonetheless a step in the right direction to combat the restrictions civil union couples face due to federal laws.
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