Divorce - Chicago Illinois Family Law Blog - Page 9
Five Things to Keep in Mind during Divorce
The divorce process can get quite hectic and leave those involved emotionally and mentally drained by the end of each day. Especially turbulent divorce cases can last for years and incur legal costs of up to hundreds of thousands of dollars. However, there are ways for former spouses to keep the process civil, clean, and efficient so all parties can come out intact and in relative peace with one another.
Communication is Key
Just because a marriage ends doesn’t mean you and your former spouse should cut all communication. In fact, open communication should be retained so all familial, legal, and financial issues can be hashed out through discussions and fair compromises, making the divorce easier for everyone involved.
Finding the Divorce Lawyer Who is Right for You
Divorcees often have misconceptions about the representation they should get for their divorce case. Some believe the gender of an attorney plays an important role; supposedly, men make more aggressive lawyers while women are better at compromise. Others believe there are very specific approaches that see more success in the courtroom. For example, a divorcee might prefer an attorney with a meaner approach over a “nice guy” attorney. However, these ideas are all far from the truth.
There is no such thing as the perfect approach. There is no one perfect “type” of attorney.
Recovery from a Divorce May Take Longer than Expected
According to a report by The Wall Street Journal, experts in the field of psychiatry say most people need two years to recover from an emotional trauma like divorce. Those who were blindsided by the traumatic occurrence — the sudden and often unexpected departure of a spouse, for example — may take even longer to get back on their feet.
A divorce brings about a dramatic shift in life, and it is perfectly natural for divorcees to take their time gathering themselves. Prudence Gourguechon, former president of the American Psychoanalytic Association, says that divorcees should make peace with the length of the process. This way, they’ll be able to relax and fully engage in their recovery.
Get Your Happiness Back After a Divorce
The experienced Chicago divorce lawyers at the family law firm of Nottage and Ward know that the divorce process is tough for everyone. There are all kinds of disputes over assets and children that tend to bring out aggravation in the involved parties. The experience can seem endless at times, and one may feel emotionally drained and mentally exhausted by the end, but once the end comes, a new life comes with it.
Divorce party planner Lois Tarter of The Huffington Post advises newly divorced people to let go of the past and be active and productive with their time. She suggests these ten guidelines all divorcees should follow on their path to newfound happiness:
The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children
According to The Huffington Post, a new study was recently published online about the effects of divorce on children. It will also appear in the September 2013 issue of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
A total of 7,735 people were surveyed about themselves and their relationships, and more than a third of the participants grew up with divorced parents.
The results of the study suggest that a child’s relationship with his or her parents is impacted in a negative way if the parents divorce when the child is at a very young age. Later in life, the child will generally feel more distant from his or her parents and have a difficult time establishing close relationships with them. More specifically, those who experience the divorce of their parents between birth and three to five years old will have more trouble connecting with their parents than those whose parents divorce when they are at a later age.
Facebook Use Could Be Harmful to Your Relationship—New Study Says
Facebook use and divorce are linked in a new study soon to be published in the Journal of Cyber Psychology, Behavior and Social Networking. Excessive use of Facebook can lead to conflict with one’s romantic partner. As reported by The Huffington Post, excessive use is defined by researchers as checking Facebook more than once an hour. The conflict created may result in negative relationship consequences which can encompass physical or emotional cheating, separation, and ultimately divorce.
205 Facebook users were surveyed about their use of the Facebook social media site and whether that use had caused conflicts either with current or with former romantic partners. Researchers from three universities conducted the study—the University of Hawaii at Hilo, St. Mary’s University in San Antonio, Texas, and the School of Journalism at the University of Missouri. Participants in the survey were between 18 and 82 years of age.
Men Do Not Grow Up Until They are 43 New Study Says
No wonder the divorce rate is so high today. Men do not grow up until age 43. As reported by The Daily Record and published by clickorlando.com, that age is 11 years later than when most women mature. According to research commissioned by Nickelodeon UK, both men and women agree that those ages are accurate. Study participants, both male and female, believed that women reach maturity several years sooner than men. Most agreed that, for women, 32 was the grown-up age.
Thirty percent of women participating in the study said that they had ended a marriage or a relationship due to their male partner’s lack of maturity. Forty-six percent of women said that they were involved or had been involved in relationships in which they felt they had to be a mother to their male partner. One-fourth of the women participating in the study said that they, not their male partners, made all the important decisions. Women believed they were the mature ones. They were two times as likely to feel as if they were the grown-ups in their relationships.
How to Prevent Children from Blaming Themselves for Divorce
According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), nearly half of all marriages today end in divorce. It is normal for parents with children who plan on getting a divorce to worry about the effect the divorce will have on their children.
When their parents divorce, the children may feel their security threatened. They may be confused and become scared. Children may not interpret divorce the way parents do, and they may feel as if something they did caused the divorce. In order to avoid this misinterpretation, parents have the responsibility to explain to their children how they are involved and what will occur in their future.
Recent Years Bring a Boom in Gray Divorce
The recent high-profile divorces of Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Al and Tipper Gore may have been part of a trend – a boom in gray divorce. As reported in The Los Angeles Times, baby boomers are at it again. They were responsible for the increase in the rate of divorce that started during the 1970s and increased during the 1980s. In our parents’ generation, divorce was rare among seniors. In fact, as recently as 1990, less than 10 percent of those getting a divorce were age 50 or older. Today, 25 percent of people in this age group are filing for divorce.
How has the meaning of marriage changed to produce such an increase in the number of gray divorces? Today, different factors affect marriage and the outlook of husbands and wives.
April is Stress Awareness Month: Tips to Help During Your Divorce
Divorce is an extremely stressful and emotionally trying process. When children are involved, the battle between spouses can become even more contentious. Financial considerations, negotiations, and litigation only add to the stress of going through a divorce.
We are all unique, and each of us handles stress differently. Courtesy of my.chicagotribune.com, stress can manifest itself in the following ways:
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