RSSJune, 2013 - Chicago Illinois Family Law Blog Archive
Facebook Use Could Be Harmful to Your Relationship—New Study Says
Facebook use and divorce are linked in a new study soon to be published in the Journal of Cyber Psychology, Behavior and Social Networking. Excessive use of Facebook can lead to conflict with one’s romantic partner. As reported by The Huffington Post, excessive use is defined by researchers as checking Facebook more than once an hour. The conflict created may result in negative relationship consequences which can encompass physical or emotional cheating, separation, and ultimately divorce.
205 Facebook users were surveyed about their use of the Facebook social media site and whether that use had caused conflicts either with current or with former romantic partners. Researchers from three universities conducted the study—the University of Hawaii at Hilo, St. Mary’s University in San Antonio, Texas, and the School of Journalism at the University of Missouri. Participants in the survey were between 18 and 82 years of age.
Sponsors of Illinois Same Sex-Marriage Bill Apologize to Same-Sex Families
Leading sponsors of the Illinois same-sex marriage bill that failed to be considered for a vote in the past legislative session of the Illinois House of Representatives formally apologized to same-sex families and others who supported the legislation. As reported on June 17, 2013, by huffingtonpost.com, the apology was extended to families who had traveled to Springfield as the session was coming to a close and were anticipating an historic vote. The apology included a pledge to same-sex families that the fight is not over until there is equality for all families in the state. According to the statement, marriage equality will happen.
The statement of apology was signed by 16 lawmakers including the bill’s sponsor, Representative Greg Harris. Harris’ leadership has been under scrutiny ever since the Illinois House of Representatives failed to take up the same-sex marriage bill before the adjournment of the 2013 spring session. Harris had previously promised to call the measure to a vote and then failed to do so. Harris has blamed the lack of a vote on colleagues who wanted additional time to meet with constituents to discuss the issue.
New Fathers Turning Down Paternity Leave
More and more companies are allowing new fathers time away from work to help care for newborns, but many are turning down the offer because they are afraid of losing status at work or losing face in light of traditional stereotypes that still exist. As reported in The Wall Street Journal, companies are catching on to paternity leave, but dads? Not to the same degree.
In countries such as Portugal and Sweden, paternity leave has been made mandatory. In America, paternity leave remains brief if taken at all. According to a 2011 Boston College Center for Work and Family study of employees at four Fortune 500 companies, 85 percent of new fathers do take some time off after the birth of a child. The majority, however, take no more than a week or so.
Men Do Not Grow Up Until They are 43 New Study Says
No wonder the divorce rate is so high today. Men do not grow up until age 43. As reported by The Daily Record and published by clickorlando.com, that age is 11 years later than when most women mature. According to research commissioned by Nickelodeon UK, both men and women agree that those ages are accurate. Study participants, both male and female, believed that women reach maturity several years sooner than men. Most agreed that, for women, 32 was the grown-up age.
Thirty percent of women participating in the study said that they had ended a marriage or a relationship due to their male partner’s lack of maturity. Forty-six percent of women said that they were involved or had been involved in relationships in which they felt they had to be a mother to their male partner. One-fourth of the women participating in the study said that they, not their male partners, made all the important decisions. Women believed they were the mature ones. They were two times as likely to feel as if they were the grown-ups in their relationships.
The Adopted Child in Illinois — Telling Children They Were Adopted
In the U.S., each year at least 120,000 children are adopted. Special needs adoptions have increased the number. Children with developmental, physical, or emotional handicaps are not considered unadoptable any more. Adoptions benefit children by allowing them to have the chance to mature within permanent loving families, not be moved from one foster home or institution to another.
According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), Illinois parents are concerned whether or not to tell children they are adopted. If so, when is the appropriate time, at what age, and how is it best to tell them? Their concern is that they do not want their children to have to face challenges or difficulties once they know they are adopted.
How to Prevent Children from Blaming Themselves for Divorce
According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), nearly half of all marriages today end in divorce. It is normal for parents with children who plan on getting a divorce to worry about the effect the divorce will have on their children.
When their parents divorce, the children may feel their security threatened. They may be confused and become scared. Children may not interpret divorce the way parents do, and they may feel as if something they did caused the divorce. In order to avoid this misinterpretation, parents have the responsibility to explain to their children how they are involved and what will occur in their future.
Being Forced Out of Your Comfort Zone
As life changes, challenges and difficulties occur. We all dislike being forced out of our comfort zones. Life brings unexpected, unwelcomed events our way. According to clinical psychologist, relationship expert, and author, Dr. Carmen Harra of The Huffington Post, we are all creatures of habit, but we also are equipped with unbelievable resilience, and we all have a built-in capacity to adapt to change.
Whether you are forced out of your comfort zone by a complex, emotional divorce, the loss of a job, or the sudden loss of a loved one, change causes uncertainty — a fear of the unknown. The following advice is offered by Dr. Harra and the Chicago family law attorneys at Nottage and Ward:
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