Divorce - Chicago Illinois Family Law Blog - Page 10
Protecting Your Credit during a Divorce
If divorce is in your future, you are probably facing an emotional, trying time in your life. The last thing on your mind may be your credit rating, but consideration of financial matters is never more important than prior to and during a divorce.
Courtesy of divorce360.com, there are steps you can take during a divorce that can help you with your finances. You need to first determine and protect your credit rating. Make sure your spouse has not concealed debts or assets. He or she could have run up a debt by obtaining a loan or a credit card under both names without your knowledge, which may negatively affect your credit rating. Find out what your rating would be as a single.
Divorce at Graduation?
According to the University of Virginia’s Director of the Center for Children, Families, and the Law, Robert Emery, Ph.D., parents of young people who are nearing graduation should wait until a better time to tell them that they plan to divorce. Announcing your plans to divorce in the months prior to your children’s high school graduation may not be healthy for them.
High school graduation is a time to celebrate your children’s accomplishments. For young people, it is a thrilling rite of passage. Your children have matured in a healthy environment, but making the choice to tell them of your plans to divorce is not the healthiest decision. Dr. Emery advises couples to wait for graduation season to end before they announce their plans to separate or divorce. Remember how excited you were when your senior prom season arrived followed shortly by graduation? Don’t ruin that experience for your children by burdening them with your problems at this time.
Divorcing a High-Conflict Personality
Therapists want us to get in touch with our true feelings. Their goal is to help us become self-assured and self-aware in order to remove ourselves from poisonous relationships and discover what we truly want out of life. According to Virginia Gilbert, MFT, licensed family and marriage therapist, in an article published in The Huffington Post, knowledgeable marriage therapists can help us to find our voice and improve our quality of life.
How could this type of personal awareness and growth be dangerous? It could be dangerous in a high-conflict divorce especially when children are present in the marriage. Marriage therapists working with partners, who are divorcing narcissists, need to invert the traditional goal of therapy. Expressing true feelings, being self-aware, and being apologetic can be terrible mistakes in a high-conflict divorce.
Things to Do and Not to Do on Your First Post-Divorce Valentine’s Day
Sometimes the blues come around unexpectedly after a divorce. But there are certain times of the year that can be more painful than others if some advance planning is not taken care of. Whatever you do, do not sit home alone feeling sorry for yourself. The following do’s and don’ts are recommendations of Tina Tessina, Ph.D., a licensed psychotherapist who has authored 11 books including Money, Sex, and Kids:
Do
-
- Make plans well in advance of Valentine’s Day that include having your best friends around you.
- Send personal Valentine notes/cards to all who mean the world to you.
- Be certain about what it takes to make Valentine’s Day special to you, and you will not pity yourself.
- Plan an activity like skiing or skating with friends.
- Go to a play or sporting event like a basketball game.
- Take advantage of the day to try something new that does not remind you of the past.
- Use your own energy to help others in need such as helping out at a shelter. This will give you added perspective on your own life.
Children and Divorce: Nine Things to Do and Not to Do
In 2011, over six million U.S children were coping with living with divorced parents. Many children may need help getting through their parents’ divorce. As reported on webmd.com, family therapist, Isolina Ricci, PhD, author of Mom’s House. Dad’s House, suggests using the following nine tips to lessen the negative effect of divorce on children:
- Do not denigrate your spouse in the eyes of your child.
- Do not use your children as substitute therapists. Don’t confide in them about adult matters such as money worries, for example.
- Do not stray away from family routines. Try to keep change to a minimum.
- Ask only general questions about time spent in your ex-spouse’s home. Don’t be meddlesome.
- Don’t give in to feelings of guilt you may have over the divorce. Remain the parent you always were. Don’t shower your child with gifts or privileges in order to “make up” for the divorce.
- Do go look for help from a family therapist or mediator if you and your ex-spouse cannot get along without being hostile to one another.
Does Unemployment Increase the Risk of Divorce?
It is common that financial issues have an effect on marriage and, consequently, there is a connection between divorce and the economy. While the recession has been improving, unemployment is still an issue, and according to a study by Ohio State University examining the correlation between employment status and marital satisfaction, unemployment is a factor in marriage and divorce.
According to an article in The Huffington Post, the study revealed that when men were unemployed, it increased the risk that either the man or his wife would end the marriage. The study, along with the information gathered at Divorced Guys, determined that there are three main reasons why lay-offs tend to lead to divorce:
Sesame Street Helps Divorcing Parents Help Their Kids
According to a Huffington Post article, more than six million U.S. children were living with divorced parents in 2011. This number is very significant despite the overall decline in the divorce rate. Every year, approximately one million children experience divorce, and one million children may need extra help to get through it.
Scientific study on the effects of divorce on children has shown that children of divorce experience a higher risk of experiencing mental health issues, issues getting along with peers, and school problems, but because these risks are widely known, parents and other adults are in a unique position to help. As support for divorcing parents who want to help their children and children going through divorce, Sesame Workshop, the non-profit organization that operates Sesame Street, has developed a new program with basic ideas and strategies to help divorcing parents and children of divorce cope with the changes they are dealing with. This program is called “Little Children Big Challenges: Divorce.” It provides activities online and offline for parents to talk to their kids and address the various challenges and emotions of divorce.
Attorney Jeffrey Knipmeyer Discusses Benefits of Always being Prepared for Trial
Divorce may seem like a clear-cut process. You want a divorce, so you either plan to go through mediation or you go to court, but plans don’t always work out. Experienced divorce attorney Jeffrey Knipmeyer has represented many divorcing clients and recognizes that how you may start your divorce is not necessarily how you’ll end up finishing it. For this reason, it is important to always be prepared to go to trial, even if you start out in mediation.
At Nottage and Ward, our legal team approaches every divorce with a solid pre-trial strategy that will help ensure success in the event that the divorce ends up going to trial. By taking the necessary steps in trial preparation, we make sure we’re never caught off guard. This is important for you too. Just because you and your spouse decide to go through mediation does not mean you shouldn’t collect any and all financial records and retain an attorney to represent your interests. Our attorneys take the following steps to make sure we are always prepared for whatever turn your divorce takes:
Where Negotiation Doesn’t Work, Litigation Might
As an experienced family law attorney with the Illinois law firm Nottage and Ward, Leslie Fineberg has worked with a wide variety of divorcing couples. Some may be able to negotiate a divorce settlement through mediation; some may fight constantly and go straight to litigation; and some actually find advantages to both. The issues surrounding negotiation and litigation can be complicated, but the ultimate goal is the same. You want to finalize your divorce and move on with your life.
Depending on your relationship with the spouse you are planning to divorce, you may find that coming to a divorce agreement will work best one way rather than another. While coming to an agreement yourselves in mediation is always better than having a divorce order decreed by a judge, it is not always possible for constantly feuding couples. But how do you know what will work best for you?
The Big Bang Theory Actress Mayim Bialik Announces Divorce from Husband Michael Stone
Mayim Bialik, former Blossom star and actress on the sitcom The Big Bang Theory, announced that she and her husband of nine years, Michael Stone, are getting a divorce, according to The Huffington Post. The couple has two young sons.
There has been a lot of speculation about the reason for the couple’s decision, the most popular of which involves parenting styles. Mayim Bialik is a proponent of attachment parenting, a philosophy centered around forming close bonds with children through near-constant physical contact. The philosophy encourages co-sleeping, carrying babies in slings as opposed to strollers, and prolonged breastfeeding. Bialik even published a book on the subject, but says that the parenting philosophy did not play a role in their decision to divorce. She stated that “relationships are complicated no matter what style of parenting you choose.”
We are proud sponsors of Little Black Pearl Art and Design Center.
To learn more, click here.
Proud Member of Friends of the Chicago River.
To learn more, click here.
Client Reviews
5 Leslie has been the strongest representation I could ask for
Leslie has been the strongest representation I could ask for in a very complicated, emotional matter. She has continuously looked out for my best interest and the best interest of my son. She is always prompt in getting back to me and in keeping me well informed about my case.
Read More Client Reviews
